Friday, August 31, 2007

A Tragic Tale

Below is a story taken from the legendary tome of the ancients called the “Sanctimonious & Heavenly Indulgence of Tradition”, otherwise known as S.H.I.T.

There was a time when a young, handsome, and dashing man roamed this land. Call him Ryu. At all times, and everywhere he went, he had as a companion a curious creature, which while not quite King Kong, isn’t anywhere quite the Brad Pitt either. His most prominent feature was his teeth, which was jagged and sharp as a knife. People called it the double razor. He…wait…I’m not even sure if he is a he. Perhaps he is a she…oh…never mind.

Anyway, it…was quite the scary little thing. It had a fondness for cute little kids so you can just imagine the terror experienced by the little tykes whenever this freak of nature dared to approach.


And, so, this story went on and on with the omni-charming Ryu charming his way from town to town. Alas, the little creature alongside him was negating whatever charm Ryu had. It was as if the mere presence of this unwanted sidekick materialized into a fierce wind, sweeping away the chick-attracting pheromones emitted by the poor young man. Girls from one town to another were overwrought with despair as their hankering to be close to Ryu were hindered by this abomination.

Frustrated and losing all forms of hope, Ryu finally snapped, suddenly attacking what used to be his smelly but loyal companion. But as fate would have it, their confrontation led to a messy affair, as their lips bumped delicately against each other (for the love of God, don’t picture this in your minds). Magically, the creature transformed into a remarkably similar looking humanoid who claimed his name was Reuel. And then he said, “Narsday!”

The End
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Despite the hostile nature of this posting, and the upfront title of this blog, the author claims that he is absolutely enamored by the character of the person whose picture appears below. He claims to be deeply in love with the person. Meow!

Note: Narsday is an inside joke. Needless to say, it provides our group with tons of fun and laughter. Haha.


Thursday, August 30, 2007

Voila! I'm back!!!

Hello, sports fans! It is indeed true, your eyes are not deceiving you! The master of all things delirious and adorable is back in the limelight of the bloggersphere. I, Ryuichi Gene B. Uchida (*see below for details) pledge to advance the cause that has long since been the battle cry of human civilization: to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God!

Actually...

That's not true at all! I'm just here to have fun, to recount the fanciful events and activities of the White Team/Alpha Phi Culalic/Jennie Fans Club and hopefully, soon, a super-secret project with the initials SPR. What is it? Okay, I'll let you in on a little clue: it's the quest to finally find yours truly his very own real girlfriend. It is!!! Exciting, isn' t it?

Anyhow, due tune in to this very channel for the very latest in Ryu gossip. Trust me, you won't be bored, and you'll learn a lot. Uhm. Right.

So, until then, my legion of fanatic fans, please be patient while your master conjures up his next posting. Hopefully, it'll be good news for all of us! So, in the words of my native land: SAYONARA!!! MATA NE!!!
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*What my name freakin' means:
Ryu - dragon
Ichi - one/first
Uchi - house
Da - farm land

Now, that's what I call an intimidating name.